Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
