Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
