O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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