i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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