Tell her she can't have a vagina
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
