So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
