I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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