I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We are two peas in an std pod
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
