If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
