Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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