Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
