I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
