when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
