It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I love having hate sex.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize