What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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