mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
