he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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