Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
