you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
