Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
