your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
