You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
