I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
