You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
