He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
