he shaved USA in his pubs
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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