Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
