She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
