he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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