Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
