normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
