I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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