yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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