I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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