oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize