I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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