Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
