Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
