kristin has been a bad kristin
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
