I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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