I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
