A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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