at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
