I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
