I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
