I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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