haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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