i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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