I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
