i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
