Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
