I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
