I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
