I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
