Barsexuality is the new black.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
