is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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