Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
