dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I need water and some morals
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
