Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize