spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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